11 Faux Paws For Pet Fashion Week

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The 5th Annual Pet Fashion Week is coming up Aug. 21 in New York City, which conjures up visions of doggy models puking their way to a size zero and developing "fierce" runway struts.

Participating model mutts won't undergo the same rigors as human mannequins, although they may be subject to some humiliating embellishments. According to PetFashionWeek.com, my vision of such add-ons doesn't come close to the reality. Still, it's fun to imagine the following 10 true-life "designer" pet supplies taking the blue ribbon in August.

1. Dog Riders Jockey
Spoiled Rotten Dogs - $26.95
Harness up your pooch for a chance to win the triple crown of thoroughbred racing. This daft costume comes complete with a tiny crouching jockey. Tally ho!

 

2. Tie Dye Swirl Hoodies
Etsy.com - $20
It's difficult to imagine there are any Phish Phan Pups out there, but who knows? Hoodies are made from 100-percent combed cotton (of course) and come in a variety of swirled colors.

3. Ballerina Dress
Etsy.com -- $24.99
It's not difficult to imagine Paris Hilton has dressed her beloved accessory-dog Tinkerbell in one of these pastel tutus. More importantly, did the chichi Chihuahua spill the beans in her tell-all book, "My Life Tailing Paris Hilton." Save on your copy with an Amazon coupon.

4. Butt Covers
RearGear - $5
For just $5 you can cover your pet's embarrassingly exposed posterior; because animals are so ashamed to be naked.

5. Cool Shades
DoggieShades - $12.95
Imagine Mr. Nibbles donning these cool shades to slide into Tom Cruise's "Risky (Frisky) Business" dance.

 

6. Sexy Beast Perfume
Sexy Beast Style - $50 for 1.7 ounces
Patchouli oil smells like dogs anyway, so why not a doggy perfume based on patchouli, with hints of vanilla, mandarin and nutmeg. As an added plus, the low-alcohol content ensures your dog won't get tipsy when he licks his privates.

 

7. Hot Diggity Dog Costume
EntirelyPets - $7.12
A hot dog costume for your hot dog Dachshund. The costume includes two plump poppy-seed buns and your choice of either ketchup or mustard detail. What? No relish?

8. Cowboy Boots
SpoilUrPets - $9.99 to $12.99
Texas dog owners take note: These BowWow Boots will make Rex a stand out at the next rodeo. Strap on a six-shooter and the look is complete.

 

9. Nail Pawlish
UpscalePup -- $11.95
Colorful nails for those who have tails. Polish comes in six colors, including Dog House Blues. Ewww. Just ewwww.

 

10. Princess Leia Slave Costume
Star Wars Shop -- $14.99
"Governor Tarkin, I expected to find you holding Vader's leash." Slave Leia includes headpiece and jumpsuit with attached arms.

11. Xtreme Grooming
Sandy Paws Grooming Shop - Prices vary
Sadly, you have to live in Yucca Valley, Calif., to turn your poodle into a garden slug; but a brief Google search reveals Xtreme dog groomers are everywhere. Sandy Paws can turn Fifi into a green dragon, chicken, peacock, camel, Ninja turtle or even a Pacman game. (Don't ask.)

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